NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Hello friends...

Tonight, I greet you with great sadness....but first, some unrelated photos of my garden

 

 Sure, the sight of these miniature heirloom tomatoes would bring anyone joy, but I'm pretty sure that my big mutt Bear pees on them every day. So, on the one hand, I'm glad his pee is so life-giving; on the other, if I offer you an heirloom tomato 'from my own garden' it means I hate you.

 Oh little pink rosebud, so much hope. If only you knew that cold, hard justice was going to be served to your caregiver today, you would never bloom.

 

I never get out of tickets. I even got one on my 18th birthday. Retraction! An officer of the law let me go after speeding home one night because, at the time, I was tutoring autistic children, and he had a soul. It was great while it lasted, for not two days later I received an actual speeding ticket from a lawman who didn't ask me what my job was.

 

Tonight, after a great interview and on my way to yoga I was pulled over not for my usual, but for expired registration. This time, I didn't cry as the officer asked to see my licsense (which I don't fake by the way, those are real "Oh shit!" tears), and he calmly informed me:

 

"You also have a brake light out and it looks like your front right tire is flat...just so you know"

"Thank you Officer Bringer of Agony, I guess I was bangin' on all cylinders tonight!":...I thought of later...

 

Anywho, justice was served.

And now I'm nurturing myself with a vegetarian cole turkey Capriotti's sandwich and some moscato....

Love you friends.